A Night of Hell in Long Island
I should have seen this coming…
When a friend told me that she knew someone who wanted to have a sex toys party along with a Candle Light party, my initial instinct was, umm… I don’t think so. There were so many reasons I could think of why it wouldn’t work. The first one was that it would be the wrong crowd for my line of products. I mean, sure candles can be very sexy, but somehow it seemed like that would draw some little old ladies. And of course, you’re asking the potential customers to stretch their budget between TWO stores and it would just be unnecessary competition. Unfortunately, since I had not had a party in a while, I thought A Party was better than None. I didn’t focus on the other red flags.
Basically what I walked into was a recipe for disaster and what I thought were challenges I was supposed to face, where actually just me shooting myself in the foot so that I could prove I could take the pain. My true challenge, which I failed, had been to be strong enough to refuse the party, especially once I found out if was in Long Island.
It took me so long to prepare, I ended up calling in sick for work just to set up. I was told there were going to be 50 people attending. A mix of men and women. Not my normal crowd, but hey, it sounded like a great opportunity. I almost wonder if I was being greedy, but hey, am I supposed to be intimidated by the fact that there were so many people?? I’m sure there have been parties like this or other product demos with that many and more parties and it’s not called being greedy - it’s just called doing business.
Even my friend bailed when she found out it was in Long Island. I should have taken that out! Should’a, would’a, could’a…
Another big red flag was that my aunt was supposed to drive me there and pick me up, or so I thought. As she was helping me get my stuff in the car and make some final preparations (stuffing envelops with new catalogs and order forms - A week before the party I realized I didn’t have enough catalogs and had my aunt bring me some as I would not be able to get new ones in time - it was like something out of newbie central), my aunt said, “I didn’t say I would pick you up,” after I mentioned around what time I would be ready for her to come get me… Now that was a shock to my system. At this point I could have faked an injury - or just man up and say well things fell through and I must unavoidably cancel - I was trying to not be the one who said she’d be there and then flaked out at the last minute. I really hate being that person and I didn’t want to disappoint my friend since she got me the gig. Still, what the hell did I owe anyone? The truth is I could have just eaten crow later about it and then next time not let a friend get me a gig. It would have been preferable to have taken shit from my friend for a little while then what did transpire. Well, instead of being firm and said NO! Stop the clock! This is NOT HAPPENING! and realizing that this was an insane expedition, I swallowed the butterflies in my stomach and pressed onward. Hell, with two perfectly good suitcases on wheels, this should be almost a piece of cake!
There’s a thin line between being the stubborn brat who says, “I can’t,” or “I won’t,” and being the decisive adult who says, “I can’t,” or “I won’t. Perhaps sometimes I worry too much about others respecting my decisions. Although I admire flexibility in person, I have a lot of respect for people who stick to their guns without expressing a lot of doubt. Regardless, I made my choices and I have to live with that.
I’m not sure at what point it became a comedy of errors, but it just seemed like one bit of ridiculous nonsense after another once it all started to fall apart. If only I could have watched it all unfold from the distance. In the car I began to practice my demo and it all seemed like it was actually going to work out.
As soon as I got there my aunt seemed a little worried… I don’t know if she had some sixth sense about it or her own prejudices were giving her the jitters, but at that moment I should have practiced a bit of her skepticism. That would be my last chance to get out unscathed. My aunt even offered to stick around. Unfortunately my nerves took everything the wrong way. In my mind I thought I was answering a question of whether I was strong enough to do this on my own… either that or I knew I was too weak to do a winning presentation and didn’t want to flail in front of my dear aunt. Would want her to think she had something to be proud of. What I should have been doing was swallowing my pride and accepted her last offer to help.
As she left, she continued to look back over her shoulder. I thought, “Now is the time. Either sink or swim.” And I felt a kick of, “Damn at least let me do a good enough job. I think I can, I think I can… let’s go woman get to it.” And so I began my night of hell in Long Island.
I was supposed to start at 8pm. The candle person hadn’t even started yet and it was just after 730pm. So I was offered some margaritas (no I did not partake, well perhaps just a sip, but I absolutely did not have more than a sip… that path I knew was wrong - not because I don’t love to drink, but because I wanted my wits about me at all times. At least I did that right). Everyone around me was drinking. They seemed pleasant enough so I grabbed a few crackers and grapes and my margarita and sat down, just trying to start a conversation with anyone really, but mostly looking at my index cards just to make sure when it came to my turn I had everything organized.
It got to be pretty exhausting actually. I probably didn’t even start until about 930 or 10pm! Well, finally it was my turn. At this point everyone was restless and they seemed to think I was there to perform a sex show. Some people were shouting bring out the toys. Tashala, a slightly inebriated, slightly flirtatious, slightly obnoxious woman, approached me. My first mistake during my presentation (even though every instinct told me this woman was probably a real bitch) was to let her hold my feather toy.
Naively, I thought it would calm her down and keep her from becoming a troublemaker…
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